Desperate for You
by EsmeScullyStarling
Summary: Post Breaking Dawn. One Shot. A lonely Esme reflects on recent events!


**Author's note: After many years of enjoying wonderful stories I thought it was about time I give something back. I hope you enjoy…it's my first one so go easy on it. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, all belongs to Stephanie Meyer!**

Allowing another sigh escape, I glanced at the door for what felt like the hundredth time. Typically, the long hours that were required of my husband's profession didn't bother me. I completely understood why he chose to work a double shift today. He embodied the definition of a good person. The compassion he felt for his patients was something to be admired—always the one to pick up the shift of another Doctor or say yes to one last trauma. And like I said, for the most part, it tended not to bother me; except…except for those rare occasions when, well, it did—like today. Today—where I found understanding and acceptance to be two very different things.

Ever since the incident with the Volturi, I couldn't stand his long shifts and mountains of work he buried himself in at home. It had reached the point where I felt as if I was suffering from some sort of deficiency. His medical journals describe the effects of a shortage of iron or calcium on the human body—those effects were nothing compared to what I felt without Carlisle. His unavailability left me to dwell on the nightmarish event two weeks ago, reliving the emotions. The same blind panic that ran through me that day on the field would slowly seep into my senses until I was left in what would be tears. The faces of each member of my family would flash through my mind: Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper, Edward and Bella, Renesmee and even Jacob, always ending with my Carlisle. The horror and anxiety of coming so close to losing all those I loved haunted me. I shuddered at the memory.

Edward frowned and looked up at me, an eyebrow raised in question; I quickly changed my train of thought to the renovations I planned on doing in the house. He smiled sadly at me and returned his attention to Renesmee. My own granddaughter, I grinned and stole a glance at my Edward with his little girl, their antics distracting my mind for a few minutes before my thoughts returned to my Carlisle.

Again I looked to the door. Deciding to give up I hoisted myself from the sofa with a bath in mind. Maybe that would help me relax, and hopefully by the time I was finished the other half of my soul would have returned. The truth was he completed me, he made me whole, and without him I would never have found solace in eternity.

Smiling sadly, as my ache for Carlisle grew almost unbearable. I decided to look at things from a more positive perspective and found myself giggling at the prospect of Carlisle returning home before I got out of the tub. The last time he caught me lounging in the warm water he decided to join me…needless to say we had to buy a new…well everything, Rosalie and Emmett weren't the only two who...

"Esme…" Edward all but growled, as I recalled how exactly we broke the shower door, I chuckled and smiling apologetically to Edward I gave one last glance to the door and made my way upstairs.

I ran the water as I collected a deep purple camisole and matching shorts that Carlisle seemed fond of. The water was hot, had I been human it would be painfully so, but as I lowered my icy body into the water I sighed with satisfaction. My eyes drifted shut letting the hypnotic sound of the water lull me into a contemplative state. I heard the faint sound of Edward sitting down to the piano…my song slowly floated upstairs…I smiled thanking Edward. Jacob must be entertaining Renesmee since Bella and Alice were off shopping. Sighing in content and thinking of my wonderful family, I allowed the warm water to wash away my earlier fears.

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Carlisle's Mercedes pulling into the garage jolted me from my thoughts; I noticed in surprise that forty-five minutes had passed. I quickly stood and dried myself off, almost forgetting to let the water go in my excitement. I put on my camisole and shorts just as I heard Carlisle's footsteps start up the stairs. Smiling I practically ran from the bathroom as he entered. A smile graced his godly features as he spotted me at the bathroom door. In a blink of an eye he swept me off my feet and into his arms, burying his face in my hair.

"I missed you," he whispered. "Edward says I've been neglecting you." I pulled away and meet his gaze.

"No of course not my love, I understand your dedication to your patients, to your job. I just missed you terribly…ever since the Volturi…" I trailed off frowning slightly I glanced down at our now entwined hands.

"Oh Darling," he sighed. He gently tilted my chin up to meet his golden eyes. Again I averted my eyes and began to study the intricacies of his Gucci loafers, but he lowered his face level to mine and gently pressed his lips to my forehead. The sensation of his lips on my skin sent a jolt of electricity coursing through my body.

"Esme," he started again but I stopped him before he could continue.

"I'm sorry, it's silly of me to dwell on the past, I know. It's just hard for me lately. I feel like I never see you…" diverting my eyes from his piercing gaze I embarrassingly continued, "It usually isn't this bad, I just miss you so much…I feel like half of me leaves with you in the morning and I'm left hardly able to function. I…I just came so close to losing you, all of you…" if I could have burst into tears…but I was left only with dry heaves as Carlisle crushed me against him. One hand made soothing circles on my back while the other cradled my neck. I buried my face in the hallow of his throat allowing his scent surround and reassure me. I pressed myself impossibly closer to his body, eliminating any space that existed between us. We stood like that until the hand on my back snaked up to join his other hand in cradling my face, his thumbs lightly brushing away the invisible tears.

"Esme, darling, it's alright, we're all here, I'm here, and I will never leave you." I nodded sheepishly, feeling silly admitting this to him. He started again, "I wish you would have told me this sooner, I would have taken time off in a heartbeat." He sighed, "I'm the one that should be sorry not seeing your pain…." He shook his head, I let my fingers tangle in his hair, bringing his head down to cradle on my shoulder. He kissed my exposed collarbone and another shiver ran through me. He raised his head, "Esme, I'm going to take a few weeks off and we are going to take a trip to your island." A fresh wave of dry sobs racked my body, he held me concerned. Whispering in my ear, "If you want to stay here that's fine, darling whatever you like, I just need you."

I shook my head, and smiled "That sounds wonderful Carlisle, we haven't been to the island in years."

His face shone like the sun as my favorite smile graced his features, "Then it's settled tomorrow I will call the hospital and arrange everything." I nodded, grateful for my husband, for always knowing what I needed. I didn't know what I had done to deserve him; but I thanked God for bringing him to me.

Smiling and meeting his golden gaze, "Carlisle, how is it you always know what I need?"

He smiled, "I know because you are my other half." He took this moment to cradle my face in his hands once more, "I love you." And he kissed me. Softly his lips melted against mine. My hands once again found themselves running through his blonde locks, his teeth nipped at my bottom lip and I groaned at the sensation. He pulled away, only slightly, and I could see the desire radiating from his now darkened eyes. I took advantage of my hands in his hair and pulled him down to meet my lips. This time the gentleness was replaced by sheer passion, our desire bubbling to the surface as our tongues dueled. Carlisle easily lifted me and set me on the bed, ridding himself of his shoes and tie in the process. I quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled him down on top of me. My lips finding the spot on his neck where his pulse would have been and I lightly sucked receiving a groan of encouragement I continued alternating nipping with soothing kisses till I found myself sucking his lower lip into my mouth. He moaned approvingly as his hands began to wander from my waist. He pulled away resting his weight on his marble arms on either side of my face.

"You're warm," he smiled kissing the tip of my nose.

Laughing I explained, "Well you know me and the scalding baths I seem to remember you teasing me about."

"I'll never tease you again," he kissed the corner of my mouth. "Never ever again. You feel wonderful."

Sighing in exasperation I scolded him, "Too much talking." Chuckling he moved to kiss the crescent shaped scar on my neck, before returning his attention to my lips.

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Edward played furiously, his fingers flying over the keys. He loved Carlisle and Esme, he loved them probably more than they realized. He couldn't ask for better adoptive parents. He loved that their love and commitment to each other only grew stronger as the decades past. He loved the way Carlisle's eyes would light up when Esme entered a room. He loved the way Esme would smile shyly in response. Their love never aged or grew stale; rather it intensified in leaps and bounds—they completed each other. He smiled not allowing his mind wander too far from the music at hand. He was trying to wait for Bella and Alice to return from their day of shopping in Seattle.

"So what's with you…you're playing like crazy?" Jacob observed, nodding slightly in the direction of the piano.

Edward cringed as his fingers were forced to halt their assault on the keys. Turning to glare at Jacob, rather than offer an explanation, Edward's rotation halted when an "Oh Carlisle…" drifted down the stairs. Both Edward and Jacob stiffened; Edward studied Jacob as he put two and two together. Laughing Jacob clapped a burning hand on Edward's shoulder before turning his attention back to Renesmee.

Sighing Edward got up and decided to wait it out at the cottage. Conjugating verbs in Italian he made his way to the door, catching Jacob's eye in the process.

_No worries, I'll let Bella know where you are when she gets back_. Nodding in acknowledgement Edward reached for the door.

He loved Carlisle and Esme and could only hope that he and Bella would share the same intensity after 90 years. However, right now Edward was that teenage boy who likes to believe his parents are celibate…and that belief was demolished with a 10 ton wrecking ball not 5 minutes ago. But through it all he chuckled. He couldn't be mad or even disgusted, no, not when the best people he knew were truly, completely happy.

**A/N: Please read and review! I'd appreciate any comments! I'd like to write something a bit longer but I thought it best to see how everyone felt about this one!! **


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